At the beginning of this year I jokingly made a pact with my single friends that we would get "chose" in 2012. Serial daters no more we would be rid of our situationships in exchange for booed up, FB profile sharing, movie nights at home, committed bliss.
As a passionate, travelling, dreamer I understood that this whole process would be an interesting road for me. I don't have enough characters to document this past year of dating. It has been ermmmm eventful. I thought the sun, moon, and stars had aligned around one person only to discover that we probably met so that I could befriend his friends smh. I've recycled old flames for companionship. I've met new folks who were epic fails, and some others who didn't feel my wavy awesomeness. I even had a fella tell me I was perfect for him but too risky to leave his comfy relationship.
More than a few times I heard "your lifestyle can't accommodate a relationship" from the guys I've talked to and even from the very same friends I made the pact with. What part of the game is this?! I thought the plan was to get chose?????
I learned a valuable lesson over the past few weeks - getting "chose" is indeed about choice and also about chase and pursuit. As smart, independent women it is easy to forget these simple principles. If he wants you, he will seek you. No complicated interpretations, no excuses, no room for wonder. Investing too much energy in a fleeting moment of infatuation will end up reversing the roles and have you feeling all sorts of misplaced rejection.
Be clear about your goals for yourself, focus on them, and have faith that the right person will not make you wonder, negotiate, or chase. It's the end of August and I've got a few months to go...perhaps I need to run again next year! #chosein2013?